A Man’s Guide for Preparing the Romantic Dinner

The first thing you have to know is that hamburgers, hot dogs and canned beans will not be on the menu. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with wieners ‘n beans – they’re just not headliners for a romantic dinner. And no, canned beer will not be included in the list of beverages.

Making a romantic dinner for your special lady isn’t as difficult as you may think, so relax, take a deep breath and get ready to surprise her with a special dining experience – a meal prepared by you!

Barbeques – Home Style Romance

Man’s best friend – the barbeque. You had to breath a big sigh of relief when you seen this one. If there’s one thing man knows how to do, besides taking things apart, it’s cooking up a rustic meal on the BBQ.

What’s on the menu isn’t as important as the dining atmosphere, so whatever you decide to place on that grill is your decision – as long as you remember that burgers and dogs are out. This is your time to shine, so select an appropriate piece of meat to go along with your garnish and side dish. Ready made salads and baked potatoes are usually available at your local deli or meat market. You can even get a skewer of prawns for a reasonable price. A man can’t go romantically wrong with a little surf ‘n turf.

Daylight BBQ’s may be great for friends and family, but not for a romantic dinner. Wait until the sun sets. Light some candles on the cloth covered patio table, and then turn on her favourite choice of soft music. Wine, juice, or soft drinks are served in glasses, not left in their containers.

Fight those natural urges to bring out the paper plates and plastic cutlery. Romantic dinners have to be served on the good dishes with utensils that don’t break when used. This does mean washing dishes afterwards, but doing them with your lady can be romantic in itself.

Frozen Dinners and Candlelight

You’ve all used a microwave, so this one shouldn’t be much of a challenge. Simply read the cooking instructions and go for it. Okay, so TV dinners don’t sound very romantic, but you’ve got to think beyond the box – literally. You don’t serve the meal in its tacky plastic tray … you make these frozen entrées look like you’ve spent the appropriate amount of kitchen time making them just for her.

Once heated, the dinners are put on proper plates and placed on a table adorned with candles and a few of her favourite flowers. If you don’t know what kind of flowers she really likes, any flowers will work – except for the plastic ones.

Frozen dinners may be a bit lean in content, so add a little finesse with some warm buns, or bread rolls. Serve up a bottle of chilled wine, or other flavoured beverage, and maybe a tossed green salad for starters. Give it some thought and even this modest meal can be turned into a romantic dinner.

Ready to Cook – the Easy Way to be Romantic

Kick it up a notch and replace those frozen TV dinners with a ready-to-cook meal. Actually, the meals don’t even have to be cooked, just heated up. They can be purchased from your local supermarket or deli at a modest price and come in a variety of dishes that will include any number of meats, potato and vegetables - everything you need for a full course meal.

Replace the container with your own plates and serve your sweetie some fine dining in a candlelit atmosphere.

Put this one over the top by adding dessert - some strawberries and whipped cream, for instance. If that’s not romantic, nothing is.

It Still Works if You Bring it Home

Now we get to those that can’t barbeque, have an aversion to frozen dinners, and couldn’t find any ready-to-heat meals at the supermarket. Or maybe you just want something with more of a European flair – like Italian. For those, it’s take-out!

Most Italian restaurants provide take out service, so you can go all out with a full course pasta dish for your romantic interlude. Once plated on your own china and served up in the light of soft candles, these can present an exceptionally romantic meal for you and your lady. Final hint on this entrée - select any dinner you like, but not pizza.

To finish off this romantic dinner, treat her to a luxury dessert that can be had from any decent supermarket. Nothing sets the mood like a rich chocolate dessert being spoon fed to each other in a candlelight setting. If you’re calorie conscious, try feeding each other from a small platter of fruit pieces.

And there you have it – that romantic dinner prepared by you, just for her!

Finding Mister Right

Mr. Right: he’s there, someplace - you just have to go out and find him. Decide what it is you’re honestly looking for and don’t settle on anything less. It’s not always an easy task and the road to real love can be full of disappointment, but follow some basic rules and the journey will have its happy ending.

What do you really want?

Determine what you need from a man and the relationship. Now is the time to be honest with yourself and be fussy. Establish what you must have, not what you’re hoping to get. Set your goals and don’t settle with second best.

Dress to attract the man you want:

Showing an abundance of cleavage and too much thigh sends out the wrong message. If you’ve set the profile of the man you want, then dress the way he’d want his woman to look. Even sportswear and casual wear can be worn to look good, just make sure your clothing fits and are clean. Don’t go overboard on the make-up and remember that perfumes are meant to attract, not repel.

Where you go determines what you’ll get:

Go to a bar, get a bar-fly. It’s rare that you’ll find an outdoors enthusiast sitting in the pub at 2 o’clock on a sunny Saturday afternoon, so look elsewhere. If you do feel like having a cocktail, be more selective about the places you visit. Keep asking yourself: “Where would my perfect man be?” – and go there.

How you act says who you are:

Spitting in public says a lot about a person, so does the language they use. Eating habits and over indulgence in liquor directly influences the way people look at you. If you’re a smoker, pay attention to stale breath and the lingering smell of smoke on your clothing. Unless you’re not at all particular in who you go home with, take a hard look at your habits – and ditch those bad ones.

Look for friendship, not a relationship:

It’s easier to find a friend than a lifelong companion, but one could easily end up being the other. Don’t let every waking moment revolve around finding someone to spend the rest of your life with because that will be far too stressful and filled with disappointment. Relax and enjoy meeting new friends – it’s a search for Mr Right, not a hunt for prey.

Communicate your needs as soon as possible:

Men are not mind-readers. If you’re afraid that being open about what you’re looking for in a man and a relationship will chase him away, then think of it this way: If he runs from what you’re saying he’s not the man you’re looking for. Start communicating early on in your dating relationship. You can share your feelings with a man as long as you do it correctly. Don’t divulge your intimate feelings too early and never express your feelings in a negative context.

A “friend with benefits” relationship will rarely get you Mr Right:

This is exactly what it implies - sex without commitment. It’s nothing more, so don’t fool yourself into thinking anything different. If you believe you can use a physical attraction to start a serious relationship, you’re wrong. Casual sex is casual sex and men can rarely make that leap to something more serious. This type of situation is never developed to become a lasting relationship.

Lust isn’t love:

Know the difference between that physical attraction and a lasting love. Love making draws out strong emotions and these feelings can sometime be interpreted as love. This is not always the case and once the layer of lust is stripped away you may be disappointed with what you find lying underneath. Think of it this way: Lust is short term, love is forever. You have to be able to communicate, so talking is a far more important attribute than sex in a long term committed relationship.

You can’t fix him because he was never broken:

What you see is what you get and you’re not going to change his behaviour, so don’t even try. If you accept the way he is now in hopes of moulding him later, forget it. Re-check your list and don’t accept anything less than what you started out to find. And go with your heart - if the attraction isn’t there to start, it probably won’t ever be.

Don’t tolerate a bad situation:

If it’s not working, get out. Never settle for anything less than what you want and need in a relationship. You can’t change it once you’ve accepted ‘the way things are’. To then start complaining turns you into the “B” word to a man – you become a nag and the antagonist in a relationship. Life is too short to live it in misery and ‘what if’ scenarios.

Desperation is the final word. Don’t fall prey to it. Finding Mr Right can happen in the next few minutes, or it could take years. Some women never do find their Prince Charming, but that doesn’t mean you stop looking for the magic that comes with Mister Right.

Dating a Single Parent

Is dating a single parent different from dating anyone else? It can be, particularly if the person hasn’t been actively dating for a while. When you’re a single parent with young children, especially if they’re pre-school age, there’s not much time left for socializing. Recognize this and your date will get off to a good start - while the following tips will ensure a great finish.

- Your date’s life will almost certainly revolve around children, so start there. Ask about the kids – ages, activities, hobbies and school. It’s a great way to get the conversation started and put your date at ease with a subject they’re comfortable talking about.

- Once the conversation on children has started, ask to see a picture. If your date is a single mom, she’s probably carrying quite a few.

- Past relationships are usually a bad idea to ask about, but if you’re really daring, go ahead. Sometimes it’s a topic they’re comfortable with, sometimes it isn’t. Be careful not to become their therapist and don’t offer unsolicited advice. Always have an alternate subject to talk about when this one starts failing, or is shunned.

- You don’t want the evening to be filled with conversations about children, so make a list of things to talk about ahead of time. Hobbies, family origins, and pets – any topic is fine as long as it keeps the discussions going and moves it away from kids … and past relationships.

- Calling home to see how the children are is always a nice suggestion. If your date is feeling comfortable with you it probably won’t be necessary, but the gesture on your part will be appreciated.

- Let your date know that it’s okay for your children to call you. Be proactive and have the telephone numbers for where you’ll be. This shows your sincerity. Hopefully, your date will be pleased about the suggestion, but will make sure that the calls are for emergency only.

- If your date hasn’t been socializing lately, keep the date more subdued. If you’re doing dinner, make it casual dining. You’ll want to get to know your date if it’s the first time out, so avoid places where you can’t sit and talk – like movie theatres. A nice walk is always good.

- Make the date someplace where casual dress is in order. With the responsibility of supporting children, your date may not be in a position to afford an expensive wardrobe. Not that this matters, but it could be embarrassing for your date if you’re intending to go someplace requiring fancier attire.

- Always be aware of the baby talk. Single parents of young children may unintentionally slip into this banter, but don’t take it as an invitation to reply in the same childish babble. Sometimes it might be cute coming from a female, but never if your dates a single dad.

- If getting a babysitter is a problem, you can always suggest an activity where your date’s children can join you. This isn’t a great idea on a first date, but after that, why not? If you’re going to see the person again, then kids will be part of it.

- Let your date dictate when you’ll meet the kids. Suggest that they participate in a future date and make it a theme park, beach, or wherever children will be comfortable and have a good time. First time outings with children at a restaurant don’t usually turn out as expected.

- When the date is over, don’t invite yourself back into their home. Your date may not be ready for that and feel uncomfortable with kids running around and the possible state of the home. There’ll be time for that later, when your date is prepared.

Dating a single parent can have its challenges, but if you’re seriously interested in the person, working your dates around kids, colds and babysitters is worth it.

Romance and Romantically Challenged Men

Man’s entire mental approach to romance is worlds apart from the thinking of a woman. His thought process is basic, primeval. In fact, this primitive mindset is the reason men rationalize romance based on simplistic needs and not emotion.

Men will look at a cave and see nothing more than a hole in the ground where he can take shelter from the rain. A woman looks at the same cave and sees a home – a place nicely decorated with curtains and furniture, somewhere comfortable for her family.

From hole-in-the-wall to home, an example that shows how differently men and women can think when it comes to the fundamental aspects of a relationship.

Dating:

Man invented the wheel, so it should come as no surprise that the male population is enthused by any activity that revolves around this discovery. Monster trucks, motorcycle racing, or anything else that involves high speeds and dangerous driving, is a natural attraction for men. Exhaust fumes and the roar of vehicles without mufflers are to men what candles and soft music are to women – a turn-on!

The competitive side of man has him drawn to physical activities like football and hockey and he’s compelled to watch these warriors compete on the sports battleground. And you can’t get any more basic than wrestling – the ultimate show of manhood, one against one in animalistic combat!

What has this to do with dating? It’s quite easy – these activities go right to the man’s heart and he naturally wants to include his woman in what he enjoys. Understand the underlying difference in thought patterns and women can easily manoeuvre their men into a romantic evening. When it comes to movies, women like romance while men go for action. A woman will think ballet, the man thinks break dancing; women enjoy a stage performance, her man’s idea of a stage is the boxing ring.

Women can get the candle light dinner and moonlit walk along the beach - after the baseball game.

Romantic dinners:

Having something to eat is simply a means of replenishing ones strength, or an activity done during a family gathering – man never meant it to be a romantic effort. There was always a practical purpose for eating – and it had absolutely nothing to do with romance.

Basic man, basic cooking – barbeques, fried chicken, pizza and fast food. If you can wash it down with bottled beer, it’s good. If you can do that without having to get out of your jeans, it’s even better. Eating a meal wasn’t intended to be a prolonged event for man.

Knowing this, it may be wise for the woman to suggest a long night of unimaginable pleasure if her man will take his time at the dining room table.

Gifts:

If it can be taken apart, or used to take something apart, a man will be fascinated by it. If it makes loud noise, or can be hung on the workshop wall, he’ll want it. Hand tools, power accessories, and anything electronic – give your man a ratchet set and it’s like sex; add a compressor and he’ll have an orgasm.

In his role of handyman, tools are a natural gift for him. Considering this mentality, is it any wonder that a gift he selects for his woman happens to be a kitchen utensil, or microwave oven?

If you want your gift to be something personal, don’t leave the decision up to your man or you will probably be disappointed. Help him out and make a list of what you want – he’ll appreciate it.

Sex and intimacy:

A simple three letter, one syllable word that’s easy for men to remember, sex is a word developed for man. To a man, sex is as fundamental as eating – it’s another pleasurable project on his list of things to do. If he doesn’t have to get dressed up for dinner, he won’t. If he can have sex without foreplay, he will. If a woman wants her man to be romantic, she has to train him – but it shouldn’t be all that hard since men aren’t overly complicated. He’ll quickly learn that the longer he plays, the longer he stays.

Are men really romantically challenged? Some say they are while others defend man’s simplistic approach to love as being a product of his prehistoric heritage. Women have evolved into complex creatures and have to exercise patience while they wait for their men to catch up.

Sex Tapes: Should You Make One?

Making a sex tape of you and your partner’s sexcapades can be quite exciting, but is it a good idea?

Putting together a tape of your love making is obviously quite arousing and can add that extra fuel to the sexual fire. What most people don’t think about, however, is the possibility of a couple breaking up – and then what happens to the tape, or DVD?

We’ve all heard of the infamous sex tapes that fall into the hands of the wrong people and end up on the internet, or scorned lovers using the tapes as blackmail. Here are a few hints to help make your sex tape fun and not regrettable.

- Never take it for granted that the two of you will be together forever. Amicable breaks in a relationship can turn nasty and jealousies can cause a scorned partner to use the sex tapes for a use not originally intended;

- With the ever popular You-Tube craze and stolen sex tapes, your filmed escapades must be kept in a safe and secure location where they can’t accidentally be found by someone else;

- Make sure that there is only one copy, that all the others have been destroyed (including any working copies), and that you have possession of the tape or DVD;

- If you’re doing any editing (both of you involved in this process can be as arousing as the original taping), have the files deleted from your computer so that the finished copy is the only evidence of your filming session;

- Consider wearing masks in the sex tape so that identification of the parties will only be known by the two players in the film. You can still watch it, know you’re the stars, and maybe the disguises will be an added stimulant to your movie;

- Don’t make a sex tape with anyone other than a person you’re in a long term, committed relationship with. You want to always know that the tape will be used for you and your partner’s personal pleasure only and not distributed all over the internet;

- One security measure is to make the sex tape, watch it, then have it destroyed – all copies, including the original. Now you will have nothing to worry about – and the best part of the sex tape is making it, so now you have a reason to start all over!

- For the best security, don’t have the camera running. Connect it to your television and start the taping so you can watch yourselves on TV, but there’s no hard copy produced that has to be worried about. Watching the live action on your TV monitor will be a turn-on all in itself.

Taping you and your partner enjoying intimate moments can be stimulating fun, but remember to always consider the consequences of your sex tapes falling into the wrong hands, or being used for purposes not originally intended.

Friendship: Taking it to the Next Level

What happens when you decide to take that friendship to another level? Is it a good thing to ask your friend out on a date … a real date? Do these relationships ever work out, or does exposing your friend to your true feelings destroy the friendship?

It can be treacherous ground, for sure. I went through just that experience. Although it worked out well for me, it may not turn out that way for somebody else.

My husband and I had been friends for many years. I have to admit that I was physically attracted to him, but the idea that we would ever actually be together was more a fantasy of mine than anything else. To be honest, we had flirted with each other for many years with subtle touches and even an occasional stolen kiss under the guise of a birthday wish, or New Years Eve traditional touching of the lips. We had enjoyed being with each other, finding it easy to talk about whatever and occasionally consoling one another when relationships went bad.

Did he care for me? As it turns out, yes. And he decided to try and take our friendship to the next level – a more serious one.

One day he told me how he felt. He was very open about it and said that if I didn’t feel the same way then he would have to distance himself from me. It’s not that he wanted to, but he wasn’t able to continue the charade and not be jealous of my relationships with other people. We talked for quite a while about this, but I actually wasn’t sure what I felt. It had come as quite a surprise that he wanted us to be a couple and I found it scary that I was now being asked to make a decision on our future relationship.

Okay, so I took the night and thought it over … and came to the conclusion that I guess I really knew I would come to all along. I called him up and said yes. I told him that I wanted to give our relationship a try and see where it would go.

We took it slow for several months and let our feelings go where they would. Even though it was difficult, we kept sex out of things and just let the relationship blossom on its own. Communication was a key factor and we would talk for hours about everything and anything. The only thing that was different between us was that now we openly showed our feelings for each other – holding hands; arms around each other; a public kiss of affection; smiles that now meant more than they did before.

I think that being friends first definitely helped, but getting to really know each other cemented the relationship – and here we are, 25 years later, married and still madly in love with each other.

If you’re interested in seeing if your friendship should be taken to another level, I would suggest that you:

- Make sure that your feelings are more than simple curiosity and lust;

- Try staying away from your friend for a while and see how you feel. If you find yourself constantly thinking about him/her, then maybe it’s time to take a chance;

- Understand the consequences of making your emotions known because it may not work out exactly as you had planned;

- Consider the fact that the other person may not feel the same way about you and what you’re going to do if that’s the case;

- Acknowledge that once these kind of romantic feelings are made known, there is no turning back and the friendship as you know it may never be the same again;

- If the other person doesn’t feel the same way, you may have to restrict your time around the individual because it’s doubtful you’ll be able to accept them being with someone else;

- When you find that the other person feels like you and wants to try and move the relationship forward, take it slow;

- Keep sex out of it because you don’t want lust influencing your real feelings. There will be lots of time for that later;

- Talk, talk, talk. Let your dates become time for getting to explore your emotions and to better understand the other person. You may have been friends and think you know all there is to know about the other person, but remember that this is now something different – take the time to explore it.

Above all else, don’t try so hard to make it work, simply enjoy the time you spend together – that’s what relationships are all about!

Dating, Men and Lost Cars

I read an article the other day about a television celebrity who forgot where he parked his car while shopping in Hollywood. This actor was apparently seen wandering the lot, pushing the lock button on his key chain while he listened for the beep.

This must really be a man thing ‘cause it happened to hubby-dearest last week while we were out on a romantic date – if you can call a Monster-Truck Rally a romantic date. Well, we did hold hands and he bought me a bucket of popcorn (with extra butter), so I guess you can say the date was somewhat romantic. According to my man, anytime the two of us get out of the house alone and spend money (other than shopping), it’s a date. Who can argue with that kind of dating logic?

Okay, I’m digressing a bit. Our date started off fine. Being the gentleman that he is, my husband dropped me off at the arena entrance while he parked the car. After several hours of eating dust laden popcorn and drinking warm soda, the event was over and so was our date – time to go home. We left the arena and went outside to the parking lot. It hit him almost immediately - he had absolutely no idea where he had left the vehicle.

Honest. I’m not lying about this. We stood there dumbfounded with our bag full of souvenirs in hand wondering where the hell he’d left our ride. No idea, none whatsoever. My husband turned to me for help and I simply told him: “Hey, it’s your car; you’re supposed to know where it is.”

He didn’t get excited and did what any man would do – pulled out the remote and pressed the panic button. Yes, the alarm went off and we could hear the blaring horn and knew the lights were flashing madly, but the car was still nowhere to be seen.

It was still hidden amongst a thousand others, parked somewhere in one of those 30 rows with its alarm system blaring. And he’s standing on the sidewalk like a dork with the remote stretched out over his head so that everyone walking by knows that he’s the one who lost his car.

And now I’m thinking about those days when you’d see cars toting monstrously tall CB antennas. Remember them? They would often be adorned with distinctive flags, or raccoon tails, or something else just as tacky. My dad had one. He didn’t have a CB, but he had the antenna. I never knew why.

Now I do.