Dating a Single Parent

Is dating a single parent different from dating anyone else? It can be, particularly if the person hasn’t been actively dating for a while. When you’re a single parent with young children, especially if they’re pre-school age, there’s not much time left for socializing. Recognize this and your date will get off to a good start - while the following tips will ensure a great finish.

- Your date’s life will almost certainly revolve around children, so start there. Ask about the kids – ages, activities, hobbies and school. It’s a great way to get the conversation started and put your date at ease with a subject they’re comfortable talking about.

- Once the conversation on children has started, ask to see a picture. If your date is a single mom, she’s probably carrying quite a few.

- Past relationships are usually a bad idea to ask about, but if you’re really daring, go ahead. Sometimes it’s a topic they’re comfortable with, sometimes it isn’t. Be careful not to become their therapist and don’t offer unsolicited advice. Always have an alternate subject to talk about when this one starts failing, or is shunned.

- You don’t want the evening to be filled with conversations about children, so make a list of things to talk about ahead of time. Hobbies, family origins, and pets – any topic is fine as long as it keeps the discussions going and moves it away from kids … and past relationships.

- Calling home to see how the children are is always a nice suggestion. If your date is feeling comfortable with you it probably won’t be necessary, but the gesture on your part will be appreciated.

- Let your date know that it’s okay for your children to call you. Be proactive and have the telephone numbers for where you’ll be. This shows your sincerity. Hopefully, your date will be pleased about the suggestion, but will make sure that the calls are for emergency only.

- If your date hasn’t been socializing lately, keep the date more subdued. If you’re doing dinner, make it casual dining. You’ll want to get to know your date if it’s the first time out, so avoid places where you can’t sit and talk – like movie theatres. A nice walk is always good.

- Make the date someplace where casual dress is in order. With the responsibility of supporting children, your date may not be in a position to afford an expensive wardrobe. Not that this matters, but it could be embarrassing for your date if you’re intending to go someplace requiring fancier attire.

- Always be aware of the baby talk. Single parents of young children may unintentionally slip into this banter, but don’t take it as an invitation to reply in the same childish babble. Sometimes it might be cute coming from a female, but never if your dates a single dad.

- If getting a babysitter is a problem, you can always suggest an activity where your date’s children can join you. This isn’t a great idea on a first date, but after that, why not? If you’re going to see the person again, then kids will be part of it.

- Let your date dictate when you’ll meet the kids. Suggest that they participate in a future date and make it a theme park, beach, or wherever children will be comfortable and have a good time. First time outings with children at a restaurant don’t usually turn out as expected.

- When the date is over, don’t invite yourself back into their home. Your date may not be ready for that and feel uncomfortable with kids running around and the possible state of the home. There’ll be time for that later, when your date is prepared.

Dating a single parent can have its challenges, but if you’re seriously interested in the person, working your dates around kids, colds and babysitters is worth it.